A healthy sex life…it’s not just for youngsters anymore
Courtesy Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital Denton, Denton LIVING WELL Magazine
The kids are grown and have moved out. You’ve taken up golf or perhaps gardening. You’re in the golden years, the new “prime” of life. And yet, why does a healthy sex life seem so out of reach?
“Seniors can have healthy, satisfying, safe sex,” says Heather R. Bartos, M.D., F.A.C.O.G, OB/GYN, on the medical staff at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital Denton. “The benefits of a healthy sex life have long been documented—lower blood pressure, less depression and improved life quality. Many in the older generation have shied away from talking about sex or intimacy. But you’ve made it this far, now’s the time to break out of the silence and initiate a satisfying sex life for yourself.”
How can I improve my sex life?
First, if you’ve got a long list of chronic health problems—hypertension, diabetes, heart disease, or cancer—please check with your physician to make sure you can physically participate. If you are cleared to exercise, you are cleared to exercise your libido. But only your doctor can assess your individual situation.
But what if it’s not good?
Men may suffer from erectile dysfunction. It’s extremely common for men in their 50s and beyond. Be sure to discuss with your primary care physician to see if medications or illnesses are interfering with your ability to create and maintain an erection. Medications, such as Viagra and Cialis, may help.
“For women, our biggest sex organ is the brain,” says Dr. Bartos. “Absent or decreased libido is often a symptom of a relationship or personal situation, such as stress brought on by work, family or health. However, many menopausal women suffer from vaginal dryness, which can interfere with sexual relations.” Fear of discomfort during intercourse can also further decrease libido. If over-the-counter lubricants don’t help, or if you find extreme dryness and even bleeding during intimacy, speak to your gynecologist about the possibility of vaginal estrogen cream, which allows the vagina to regain some of its “youthful” properties. Even women who can’t take oral hormones for various medical reasons can often benefit from a small dose of vaginal hormones, which deliver medication only to the local area. Often, short-term use is sufficient to regain the most benefit. Women who have had estrogen-related cancers, such as breast or ovarian, should speak to their oncologist before use.
“If you’re in a monogamous relationship, then silicone-based lubricants, or cream lubricants, are the easiest and best to use,” says Dr. Bartos. “If you’re not in a monogamous relationship (that means both of you), then condoms are still a must, so water-based lubricants should be used. If you are uncomfortable buying lubricant in a store (although most supermarkets carry it), then order online and it will arrive direct to your home.”
Safe sex? I thought I was past that.
Most Baby Boomers growing up thought pregnancy would be the worst news to break to their parents. But actually, sexually active seniors make up the fastest-growing segment of patients with sexually transmitted diseases—chlamydia, syphilis and even HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Many nursing homes are having outbreaks of STDs––once thought only teenagers contracted. “This warning also involves “atypical” sexual relations as well, as many seniors are now experimenting with oral and anal intercourse,” says Dr. Bartos. “Unless you have both been tested, please always use condoms.”
But I’m widowed and I promised my husband…
“Remember, you don’t have to have a partner to have a satisfying sex life,” says Dr. Bartos. “Many patients tell me they don’t feel right initiating a new partner if their partner died. Masturbation is no longer taboo.”
“When speaking with a patient regarding her sex life with her husband, she shared that she wasn’t sure if he was pleasured or not,” says Dr. Bartos. “When I asked her if she was pleasured during sexual activity, she stopped speaking and seemed shocked. I reminded her that her pleasure was just as important as his. She later told me that the only way she felt pleasured was to manually stimulate herself. She was happy to report that once she was able to do so, their sex life improved tenfold. And even more importantly, their sex life felt intimate again. And that’s what people of all ages desire.”
To find an OB/GYN physician on the medical staff at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital Denton, visit texashealth.org/findaphysician or call 1-877-THR-WELL.
