Excuses are easy, change is tough – Make the right choice
By Doug Fusella, New LifeStyles, North Dallas LIVING WELL Magazine
Every day, we wake to a day full of decisions and responsibilities. These can range from changing a light bulb to making decisions about the well being of you or a loved one. While the ramifications of making excuses to put the changing of the light bulb off for a few days are minor, the consequences of putting off decisions regarding housing or care needs can be far reaching.
The decisions regarding senior housing and care can include the following:
1) Deciding that your house of many years and memories is too much to maintain and/or afford and looking into an active adult community.
2) Heeding the warning signs that you see at your parents’ residence and initiating serious conversations about moving to an assisted living community or hiring a home health agency to alleviate fears and give needed assistance.
3) Separating a couple to make sure that one is getting proper care for conditions such as Alzheimer’s when staying together would cause issues for both parents.
All of these situations call for tough decisions and possible conflict. Most of us try to avoid conflict whenever possible. We justify putting off decisions and change by using such excuses as being too busy, not wanting to upset the family or by convincing ourselves that mom is just having a bad day and will be better.
How do we push through these roadblocks?
Here are just a few suggestions:
Start early. You need time to research and find information that helps you work through the issues in a caring and informed way. Talk to friends that have made similar changes. Consult with experts, family physicians, those that know your family and others that have knowledge of current conditions and what assistance is really needed. Instead of acting out of guilt, act out of love and responsibility. If you observe changes, invest more time observing to make sure that these are long-term changes instead of trying to convince yourself that tomorrow will be better. When it comes to health, it’s always better to err on the side of caution. Would you feel worse if you made your parents mad, they realized change was needed and made the change or if you ignored warning signs and something happened?
These decisions are tough. Start addressing these issues as early as possible, involve experts, converse (forums are a great community resource) and do research. Sympathize with all angles, but do the best for those involved, no matter how tough the process may seem. Your actions will ensure the highest quality of life for ALL involved.
Doug Fusella is with New LifeStyles, providing comprehensive, quality information on senior residences and care options.
